Big Boat Hash
Texas Treasure Big Boat Hash (T2B2, sounds like a Star Wars Droid!)
There I was, (hashers fill in the blank) . This was the day of the T2B3, which everyone was looking forward to… Hashing, Drinking and Gambling, what a mix for the 144th running of the BALH3. After a ton of e-mails trying to get as much info out to everyone, especially the part about the bus leaving at 5:00pm, I roll into the Dr. Rockit’s parking lot at 4:56pm (remember, the RA is never late) and what did I see? A big ass bus waiting to take our half minds to Aransas Pass where the Texas Treasure was waiting for us to violate her. I’m not talking a mini bus, or even a school bus, but a big luxury charter bus complete with porn in the video system (well, not really, but that would’ve been awesome!). But wait, there was more! In the bus was a cooler stocked with Miller Lite! Wow, what a setup! I walk into Dr. Rockit’s and what did I see, about 20 hashers chomping at the bitt to go and gamble their money away. But there was no sign of our Hare, Pecker Checker, or our Secret Hare… Well, the hash e-mail said the bus leaves at 5:00 sharp, real time, not hash time so we loaded up to head (who said head, I’ll take some of that) to the Texas Treasure. But wait! Labia of the rings calls and says, “I’m on my way, don’t leave without me! I’ll blow everyone on the bus if you wait for me!” With a proposition like that, what would you do? Of course we waited the extra 5 minutes so she could fulfill her promises. Off we were, on the road to the boat, with Chemo and Cockshot leading us all in “The Monkey Jumps Out Of The Coconut Grove”, “Bear in Jellystone”, and some of our other favorite hashing songs as we broke open the cooler and enjoyed the refreshments.
The bus arrives at the Texas Treasure, but drops us off short of the parking lot. What’s this? Chad? Already marking trail… Pre-laid trail! Must make hares drink for that later… So off we go, with Blue Balls and Cockshot leading the way. Once again Blue Balls proves that you should never follow him on trail as he walks right on by a true trail arrow and a BH! The beer consumed and the clue read, we hash on. The trail is all pavement pounding, probably one of the most grueling parking lots we’ve ever had to go through, but somehow we made it to the next beer stop. After such hard work, what did we find? Beer! But wait… This was a “Shitty” Beer stop since what we found in the cooler was Milwalke’s Best Light! Talk about insulting our tastes for nectar! But wait, there was a surprise addition in the cooler. There were some jello shots, but not your ordinary jello shots, they were syringes filled with jello… Which of our former hashers had trademarked that delivery method… Well, we soon found out as we arrived at the On-In and there was Pecker Checker with her Secret Hare, one of our favorite fucked off hashers, Nice Pair-A-Keets with a tray full of more jello shots!
Well, time to board the boat and have dinner, at a table even… far more formal than our drunken half minds were expecting, but wow! What a fantastic meal. Many big and enthusiastic Thanks goes out to Want In One Hand Shit In The Other for inviting us out on her boat, her business and extending the red carpet treatment!!! She provided all tickets, food, beer and the bus to the hash, and was it all awesome! In all seriousness, thank you so much for a fantastic evening in which everyone had an incredible time.
After dinner was time for a little gambling before… R-E-L-I-G-I-O-N! With the boat rocking a little bit, it fealt like we were drunk before religion even started, couldn’t walk straight! First things first, we made those hares drink big time! First was for a pre-laid trail, second, for the Shitty beer, then finally for having a secret hare. Here is the vital info for this run:
Hares: Pecker Checker and Nice Pair-A-Keets
FRB: Got Gas?Jackass!
DFL: Most of the Wankers that showed up!
Newly Named: Just Nicki – Anything For A Buck
Just Phil – Mr. Hanky