BALH3 259th
Hash Trash

 

I know, I know, I know!!  It is about damn time that I get the trash posted.  Get off my ass, I had a wisdom tooth pulled and apparently I am now down to less then half a mind. But I digress.
 
     So here we are for the 257th Running of the BLAH3 (on-her)  As I normally begin the shitty trash, let us start with ROLL CALL!!!!!!!!!
Blue Balls, Twat, Puerto Rican Jew, Plug my Hole Baby, Got Gas? Jackass!, Refux (who is that babe?) Pet My Pooper, Mr. Hanky, Butt Munch, Mr. Goodbar, Ranger Smurf, Chef, Richard Simmons Just Mike and Just Brandy and some German hasher by the name of Faulty Towers (wel-cum).  But of course we can never forget ZAMBONI. 
So here we are reving up for what is sure to be a shitty ass trail.  Our hares for the eveingin are none other the PRJ & Plug.  Hares away!!  As we wait our alotted time, we of course take this opportunity to entertain our devoted followers by singin them a ditty.  After a well dick-served applause, we are walking.  Trail takes us down the sea wall towards the American Bank Center.  We zig zag between cars trying to re-enact the scene where SAH3"s Bend Em Over the Pewey tried to make himself one with a van.  To our dismay the damn drivers would not comply.  Damn it all to hell. We tried Pewey! :(  Moving on we go and find BN & what the shit is this?  There is no beer.  This is very unlike PRJ & Plug to lie to us.  I can't believed they lied, those sons of ...wait a minute, is that a group of drunk homeless drinking our beer?  Damn straight it is.  As we huddle together to! figure out a plan to retrive our nectar, It is suggested that we roll Ranger Smurf into a human ball and throw him in the middle of this evil doing, as the bums scatter like roaches (yuck) we will all jump in and retrieve the nectar.  All of a sudden we can all hear the theme song to Mission Impossible in our heads as we sneakily sneak up on the bums.  Shhhs Chef with the damn song, your giving us (head) away.  Butt it was then that Butt Munch noticed that the closer we got to the bums, the worse the smell was got.  So after much of our nose hairs were synged off from the odor, we decided to let the bums have the nectar (our good deed for the year) and move on to the next stop.  But there was no Chad to be found.  What is a hasher to do?  What the hell is that smell?  We turn and notice one of the bums came up to us and handed us what appeared to be the clue that was left in the bag.  With our noses pl! ugged and eyes watering we thanked him and got the fuck out of there.  Again we were off searching for much needed nectar when we finally came to the designated stop.  It was suggested that we consume quick before the next team of bums cum around.  Our next clue ordered us to go around the Caller Times building towards the park and check the "Ranger Smurf Blue" dumpster.  We did as good lemings are told and found the dumpster.  Now in this bag we find a large hump-her-ware vessel filled with what we still to this day can not figure out but tasted like a mix of grapefruit, pineapple and I am sure some type of liquor.  As we stand aroused (I mean around) we start to wonder why are PRJ & Plug laying such a tame trail?  Could it be that they are just setting us up for what's to cum?  Could it be that they wanted us to expect an excrutiating trail and instead do a painless to trip us up?  Could it also be that ! I am just asking to many dumb ass questions?  (yes)  I guess we will never know.  We all decided that their train (choo choo) of thinking is just far too advanced for us half minds.  So as we finish off the juice & read that clue that tells us to go about 1 and 1/2 mile down town to the dumpster "kiddie corner" from South Beach Bar & Grill.  What the hell?  Do we look like runner?  So what does Blue Balls say to that?  WWCD?  You guessed it wankers, an inpromptu beer stop (since the 1st was stolen).  So we head (can I get some of that pleeze?)  to Rockits where we find our hares relaxing in the bar. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE SO EARLY?" says PRJ. WWCD? (blah blah blah it is explained already) Pitchers are bought, vessels are filled and we are drinking.  I know you are probably ass-king yourselves right now, what about that last beer stop?  Well, just wait a friggin minute and I wi! ll tell you, Sheeze.  Impatient wankers.  Since (as said numerouse times before) the 1st stop was stolen from us, we were a little worried of what may have happened to the last stop.  So a vote was taken and it was decided that Ranger and Chef were to be the honorary Beer Retrieval Party (BRPs)of that stop.  So as we sit around waiting for the BRPs to cum back, GGJ and I continue our little finger game. (no, you perverted wankers not finger sex), unfortunately you will have to see it to understand, but I can say that Blue Balls was a trooper for joining in as well.  Nope I am not going to give any more details. 
The BRPs return and it is now time for REEEEEEELIGION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hash Crashers were, AFAB & Crudo Menudo!!
Circle begins with the hash prayer and a toast to G.  Rite off the bat Chef brings in Ranger Smurf and Butt Munch for a private party.  Get in there and drink you anit-circle wankers. And now it is time to bring in those that are responsible for the shitty ass trail.  What the fu... Where are PRJ & Plug?  (dun , dun, dun)  What the hell do you mean they left?  (long story)  Crap, well then who can we have take their place?  (insert jeopardy theme song)  Chef's decision is made.  Stand in for PRJ will be none other than Re-Fux  and for Plug will be Twat.   The fake hares (would that make us implants or tupees?)  enter circle and the question is asked.  WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR THIS SHITTY ASS TRAIL?  Plug's (Twat) response is that it was awesome!!!!!  (boo,boo, hiss, hissss)  PRJ'S (me) response is, I was LATE, it is n! ot my fault. (wrong answer to say around hashers)  .  That one little word opened up the biggest can or shit that I have ever witnessed.  Hashers all around were scolding GGJ for not using protections and then I got an ass full for drinking and smoking.  Truth be told no horror cumming.  Moving on....Circle continued with tails from the trail and accusations, unfortunately with my tooth missing that part of the hash trash was accidentally erased from my mind.  Sorry.  Announcements were made that GGJ & Chef would hare the next Wednesday's hash and a reminder of the C2H3 80's prom hash that was to happen that weekend. (trash on that soon to cum)  Circle ended, we ate, drank, and were merry and that is all that I can remember.  Please feel free (if you remember) to add in.  I am also finally going to attach a few pics from this trail.(bout G.D. time) 
On-Out
Re-Fux-Ology