For those of you wankers that did not make it out to the hash this
Wednesday; I've got 6 words for you: YOU SORRY SHITS, YOU MISSED OUT!
Well, here I go. Are you ready? I'm ready. R U sure? Fine, fine I
will just talk my trash & begone.
ROLL CALL: Got Gas? Jack Ass!, Re-Fux (me), Gaylord Focker, Chemo, Guam,
Dude Where's My Dick?, Butter Bling, Bend Em Over the Pewey, Stuff My Box,
By The Way Boys I'm Gay, Chef, Ranger Smurf, Blue Balls & Zamboni,
Richard Simmons, 3 Day Burn, Mr. Hanky, Puerto Rican Jew, Plug My Hole Baby,
Twat Did You say, EZ Cums, Cums Solo, AFAB, Urinal Biscuit, Just Mike, Just
Carey, Just Dana, Just Brandy and Just Nola. Rotten Cherry met up w/us
at circle!!
Can you believe the attendance? Ok how should I start this one?
Once upon a hash, in a bar down town, a butt-tonof hashers congregated
together for a very special hash event. Not only did we have 6 awesome
visiting hashers butt it was also our very own BALH3 RA 3 Day Burn's Fuck
Off. After much catching up or catching something (that would xplain
the 3 day burn) it is on-out to the Sacred Whore. It was on our way
there when 3 Day Burn felt that since it was his last BALH3, he wanted
to at least get a harriette wett. Since he was refused sex on trail on
many other occasions he instead tossed AFAB into the water fountain.
Down the whore we go for quick group sex, I mean photo and it is hares
away. Our faithful fan club was on top again (watching us not
riding us) off we go on trail and we are taken to ....wait a minute, did I
ever say who our hares were? No? R U sure? Ok, Ok, they were Got
Gas? Jack Ass!, Gaylord Focker and Chemo. Moving on - trail leads us
to Q's where the beer wench is holding the door open and yelling " Cum
in, the beer is cold, served and I am ready!" Don't kow what she
was ready for but on-on. It was also this first trail that we saw
the infamous "WWCD"! Here we are at Q's & the hares
leave again. Drink, drink & drink some more until all the
harriettes are asked to go upstairs & sing a ditty to the hounds below.
Ditty is sung & we are off - to the next trail - not our clothes (that
cums later). Trail leads us to Cheers. Now a few things happened
here. Ok really just 2 things. Let me tell you the tame one
first. As we gather for our nectar, 3 Day burns brushes up against me
& unknowningly dropped his expensive sunglasses down my leg. I
bend over (assuming position) to pick them up & return them to him like
the nice hasher I am,( am I poking your eyes yet?) and when I got back
up 3 Day was gone. So what do I do? Yup, I put them in my pack
& go on about my beer. Pretty tame I know - butt now here's
the good (or gross) stuff. Among the hashers was a barfly that looked
as if she had been kicked out of every red neck bar in town due to her lack
of proper make-up application & she had way too many teeth missing (even
for a red neck). Well this homely woman takes a liking to Chef. Well
Chef proudly displays his wedding band & she is off quicker then
the clothes off a hasher at a hot tub party. Now she has this look on
her face of : hmm who's next? Well, Richard Simmons was her next prey
& boy did he bite. Pictures were taken of the 2 drunk-birds, even
as they left to the back of the bar so that Richard Simmons could help her
fix her make-up. We know this becuz when he came ( not on her) back to
us he had her lipstick on his lips. Yahoo! (Yuck!!) On-out to venture
to our next stop. Up the down town hill towards Knuckleheads when Just
Carey and I notice all the hounds stopped and waiting. Ahh must
be a boobie check. Well Dude Where's My Dick? was a little
ways ahead of me, so I take off at full speed & cum up behind Dude
and lift his shirt to shows his boobs to the hounds. I think Dude
got more applause with that then any other harriette. :(
On to Knuckleheads and it was here that 3 Day realized he was missing
his glasses & slummed around looking for them.
Chemo pleased me (yes he did) with his Dr. Evil impression. Totally
cool. Hares gone again & we sit and enjoy the nectar &
shoot the shit (not literally). Trail leads us to the freeway
where Mr. Hanky yells out "hey Re-Fux, If you have sex with a dead
whore that has chlamydia, will you get it too?" Now last I
checked I was Hash "Flash" & not Hash
"Med" but I answered with a guessed "yes" & next Mr.
Hanky is yelling, "Hey Just Mike you can, - go to the
clinic." I guess the crabbs that Just Mike got on the C2H3 a
couple of weeks ago just wasn't enough for him. Moving on, trail leads
us to Rockits for the On-in. Time passes, hash cash is collected &
it is now time for REEEEEEEEELIGION! OK can I say that with 26+
hashers in the hash room leaves little wiggle room. I think
that we all got to know each other better in ways that we never thought we
would. (hey I did say it). Almost immediately 3 Day hands
over RA duties to his hash monks, Chef & By the way Boy I'm Gay.
Of course 3 Day is placed quickly on the ice. Tails from the trail are
done and Chemo makes the announcement that he has brought (stole, borrowed,
whatever) back the Tour de Chug shirt for the reigning champ (GGJ)
to wear again with pride. Butt what is this? 2
more Tour de Chug shirts cum out. On Chemo, On Gaylord, On dasher, On
dancer... oops wrong month. Then somehow Guam had it on (the
shirt not the butt plug). Then as I am taking pics of the dunkenness
that we are, I see a yellow shroud cum over me & engulf me. All of
a sudden Guam & I are siamese fuck twins. After a picture & a
little tickling, I was seperated from my twin & birthed from the huge
ass shirt. Circle continues with accusations & it was then that I
got to accuse 3 Day Burn of losing his glasses & the beer donations
poured in. & wouldn't you know it that fucker kissed it off to me
& as I am consuming the beer GGJ whispers in my ear to kiss it off to
someone. So I do & kiss it off to GGJ, who was either eager for a
kiss or more beer. I can't remember who stood in the circle of GAY but
I know that Twat was placed in the circle of SILENCE with out nectar. :(
I really don't remember too much after that except that I made it home in
one piece & with hand prints on my arse. Thanks guys. Hey
guys, Remember that this Saturday 07/16/05 is the C2H3 Wel-cum back Ranger
Smurf / 3 Day burn Fuck off - Brave heart trail. So put on the blue
face paint & wear your kilt. It should be awesome, as all C2H3s
are. Is that it? I think so. Wait? No that is all
that I have for now. Please feel free to add anything that I forgot.
On-Out Re-Fux-Ology
P.S. HEY PEROXIDE MORON WE MISS YOU AND WANT YOU BACK!!! (can't
wait for you to see the pics). Love much, Re-Fux-Ology