7th Running of the KDMC H3
March 23rd,2002
1:00 PM
Selena Memorial
Temp: 70ish
Overcast
Wind: 15-20 KTS, HIGH WIND ADVISORY

So there we were, 7 die-hard wankers looking for open pavement and hoping to stay ahead of the ominous black clouds sweeping in from the west. LILY VON SHTOOP arrives in his new Mercedes-Bends convertible to wish us well…and to show off his new Mercedes-Bends convertible. BLUE BALLS and JENNIFER stop in on their way home from the Hill Country to provide some last minute guidance to our hare SPANKIN’ GRANNY. After much gum-running, SPANKIN’ GRANNY heads North, leaving a clue with LILY and instructions to hold the Hounds for 10 minutes.

After the required 18 minutes (LILY is applying the official Euro-to-Dollar exchange rate), The Hounds set out toward Leopard. PRISON PUSSY, ROTTEN CHERRY with JUST LINDA on bitch, COCKSHOT, and ARSE FICT with GUAMARHEA BALLS on bitch immediately miss the turn to Upper Broadway and hang a U-turn in back of the Caller Times building. With two fat-asses aboard, ARSE FICT’s Yamaha is bottoming out on the uneven pavement that is the pride of Corpus Christi’s highway department.

Finally, up to Leopard seeking a place where "Jonah has a whale but you won’t find any fish to eat." On past Snapka’s, we stop at a tiny Tejano strip club with whales painted on the side. No sign of Jonah inside, and the barkeep knows nothing about a beer stop. Outside, a big sign for the Blue Whale beckons from just 100 feet away. Yeah that must be the place! Remount and on in to the real Beer Stop!

ARSE FICT and GUAM have enjoyed the quality time together, but fears of wearing the oil pan off the bottom of the Yamaha cause a rethinking of bike assignments. GUAM is all set to walk back up Leopard on foot (attempting to make money on the way) when COCKSHOT demands that he mount her brand new steed while she assumes the bitch seat for ARSE FICT. Must be the Leopard Street atmosphere causing COCKSHOT to pimp out her ride! Into the Blue Whale where a clue awaits…

Cheap sodas and free chips and salsa inside, and then a clue directing us 30 miles north on I-37, with a few turns after the exit. After a windy ride up the interstate, we find ourselves in a local country bar. When I say country bar, I don’t mean a bar playing country music! The six of us are the only folks without cowboy hats including the bartender! These folks were just tickled all to heck and back to have some nice visitors from the city stop by. Even volunteered to give us a shortcut to the shortcut they had given to our hare SPANKIN’ GRANNY. "Y’all’d probably ketch ‘im right quick too. Ya just mist ‘im by about a couple minutes or so." Suck down a few cool Miller Lites, and back on Trail heading southwest.

As we roll into the next "town" looking for gas, we see a white streak at the only intersection just a mile ahead. It has to be SPANKIN’ GRANNY on his beefy white Harley! Unfortunately, GUAM is running on reserve, and other tanks are a little too thirsty as well to give chase.

After tanking up, the four bikes follow the country road in pursuit of the hare. Wind is blowing around 400 KTS or so across all the open fields, but the scenery is enough to make up for the offending atmosphere. Rolling hills give way to winding turns, slowing the pack down to around 30 MPH. All too soon, the next beer stop looms ahead, and the intrepid bikers dismount to find SPANKIN’ GRANNY waiting inside. ROTTEN CHERRY leads us in a few songs in what appears to be an imitation of Religion as we all suck back a few well deserved bottles of Nectar.

An easy ride back through the country to 77, which leads us all right back to Selena a mere 5 hours after we started. GUAM and JUST LINDA rejoin their four-wheel chariots and then on to Tokyo Den for the On-After and Sushi!

Honor to our Virgin for cumming out and not squirming too much on CHERRY’s back seat! Cum back soon and cum back often!

Very Honorable Honor to COCKSHOT for letting GUAM take her virtually brand new Savage on the ride…in spite of his track record with other Harriette’s bikes!

Next KDMC run April 7th, 2002 at 1:00PM in front of the Selena Memorial! Chemo will be haring!

On-On!
Guamarhea Balls