Knuckle Draggers Hash House Harriers Motorcycle Club

 3rd Run Trash 

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3rd KDH3MC Hash
Saturday 1-12-02
Weather: Sky is blue and you can hear the birds chirping

The weather man was wrong (as usual) and clouds did not dare show up for the 3rd running of the Knuckle Draggers H3 MC.  A proud group of 10 hashers showed up at Selena Memorial to share the road on the adventure to come.  HARE LIP DOG even brought out his young uns' to wish the pack a safe and happy journey.

Milling at the On-Start, taking pictures and molesting the occasional passerby another bike enters the scene.  Our honorable Rotten Cherry (newly elected KDH3 R.A.) swoops upon the unsuspecting couple and gently coaxes them to participating in today's run.  JUST PHIL and JUST JACKIE  decide to end their long weekend with a bang and ride along.  

Finally our hares ROTTEN CHERRY (with GUAMARHEA BALLS) and SPANKIN' GRANNY reeve up and tell us to kiss their ass.  Their off like a cheap prom dress.  As soon as they are out of sight, CHEMO opens the clue which had instructions to "Wait 10 Minutes".  (Who said hashers could read much less tell time!)  The hares were wise and the clue read "If you truly waited 10 minutes call."  Damn Bastards!  It's a good thing the minutes are cheap these days... we called every few seconds just to keep the hares on their toes.  When the call is answered SPANKIN' lets us know that the real clue was hidden on CHEMO's bike all along.  Smartasses!

Clue #1- "It's a nice ride to S.A. but you won't go that far.  Take the LUCKY exit and go the CIRCUS sponsor's"

Fair enough!  BLUE BALLS with COCKSHOT  riding bitch, $3 BILL  with NICE PAIR-A-KEETS as his bitch, JUST PHIL with JUST JACKIE snuggled close to his rear, and CHEMO (used to riding it alone) jump on their hogs to chase the hares.  TWAT DID YOU SAY decided to join the chase in his beer meister chariot.

BLUE BALLS leads the way as road captain for this run.  The pack hums merrily along IH 37 towards SA and takes exit #7 to the Shiner's Lodge.  In front of the statue of a man with the biggest tassle I've ever seen, we find a cooler with Foster's, energy drinks and Chocolate covered "Rotten" Cherries.  Our clue is to finish the beers and take the can's to the recycle center on Hwy 44.  JUST PHIL and JUST JACKIE  are confused but intrigued enough to purchase shirts and accept registration forms for  TXIH 2002.  As we down our beers and sing to our virgins we receive a call from the hares.  Conversation:

Chemo: "Hello"
Spankin': "Where are you?"
Chemo: "At the Recycle Center."
Spankin': Click...........

On-on to catch the Hares!  BLUE BALLS again takes the lead with COCKSHOT designated as navigator.  The directions on this clue were clear, precise and to the letter.  So obviously we fucked them up.  COCKSHOT had her finger over the part that said turn by the meat packing plant and the pack had gone  about a 1/2 mile past it before they made a U-Turn.  (Hey I'm blonde, ok!)    The entrance to the Recycle center is marked with our familiar True Trail in flour.  TWAT DID YOU SAY  produces the empties and they are properly weighed.  Unfortunately $3 BILL hears something he's been told way too often... "This just isn't enough."  NICE PAIR-A-KEETS cums to the rescue and the appreciative recycle guy tells us the clue is on the fence. Here our virgins peel away to have sex one more time before they ride home to Houston.

Clue #3- Make our way towards the shooting range, we may see an air show or not, go past a stop sign that makes no sense and have a drink with Fat Albert.

Man!  We actually have to give this one some thought.  After scratching our butts for a minute we decide to head (who said head) in the general direction of the airport.  Luckily the hares ASSumed we would have trouble and laid a pile of chad at the street we needed to turn down.  We found the shooting range, the stupid stop sign (this was a waste of the taxpayers money) and were searching for a big black guy with a gang of silly looking friends screaming "HEY, HEY, HEY!"  After passing a few chop shops and flushing out a DPS trooper, we gave up and headed back to a little dive that had BEER in big blue letters on the sign. The lone bar man at the Blue Angel Bar welcomes us and lets us know we are at the right spot.  $3 BILL enlightens us that the plane that carries the Blue Angels supplies is called Fat Albert.  Drink for knowing too much.  At this point a conspiracy to find and give the hares a good lashing.

Clue #4- Blah, blah blah... street sounds like a gun... blah, blah, blah.... RANGER Tony.... blah, blah, blah ...funny Volkswagons with designer plates.

HUH??????? Ranger Street sounds familiar and they are racing Porsches there... Let's go that way.  Did you know that Saratoga is a.k.a. Hwy 357???? DO NOW!  The pack finds Tony on the back lot and get's the next clue.

Clue #5- Go down Saratoga, avoid being bank robbers because it's un-AMERICAN, turn into the first watering hole on the left.  Your clue will be GOLD and SWEET.

DOUBLE HUH????  The pack gets the American Bank reference but is purely lost from there.  COCKSHOT remembers a bar called The Golden Nugget that is off Staples where she used to sell herself for peanuts (you must turn left to get to it).  Good enough and we're off!  The bartender doesn't know what we are talking about but remembers COCKSHOT  and welcomes NICE PAIR-A-KEETS with a toothless grin and some peanuts.  The pack is thirsty and very confused at this point, so the only solution is to drink beers and call the hares.

Those damn hares decide that since the whole pack shares one brain they had better give us the on-home or plan on waiting another year for us to figure out the clues.  On-home is on the island at Two Seas.

Reeeeligion.....

The hares made to drink for making the clues so only those with a 5th grade education could follow them.  There are some accusations (someday, I'll remember to write those down), and we all disperse for some grub.

On-on
Cockshot