Knuckle Draggers Hash House Harriers Motorcycle Club

 13th Run Trash 

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13th KDH3MC Hash
Saturday 7-13-02
Weather: Beautiful

So there I was...rolling up to the sacred whore on my trusty scooter. The time was 9:50 in the morning. Remembering the stern warning about leaving at 10:00, two thoughts came to mind when no other bikes were in sight. Either the group had left without me, or 10 actually meant 11 or 11:30. Either way, I figured I’d pay homage to Selena when nobody was around to witness the act. As I made my rush to the statue with tunnel vision and a permanent marker in hand, I nearly ran into HAIRLIP DOG, on his way back from the bitch. Oh well, there will be other days for me to be alone with Selena.

Soon more bikes began showing up. The weather was hot and sunscreen was flowing freely. The riders were getting anxious to get on the road. In the distance a familiar, but new sound could be heard. CHEMO, on his new toy, was in sight with DILDO DIVA on his tail. The last of the riders had made it and it was time for the first clue for our ride. The note was deciphered, steeds mounted and the riders were off. Knowing a little about the area, COCKSHOT took the lead. HAIRLIP DOG and EASY CUMS brought up the rear with their four wheeled chariots.

The route took us up highway 37 to Cal Allen, onto 624 for some back road wandering to 666. Once on 666, we headed north to Coyotes for our first stop. It was time to get off the bikes and cool down a little in the pub. Before our next clue for trail could be given to us, we had to sing a song. Since this was a bit of family outing, a song with nothing more than a PG 13 rating was selected for the audience.

As we all walked into the bright sunlight, an even brighter object caught everyone’s attention. Of course it’s just not a hash until HAIRLIP DOG gets naked, and in true spirit, he obliged with a gracious moon. Fortunately everyone that witnessed the event had sunglasses on and no retina damage occurred.

Back on the road heading north, it wasn’t long before we found ourselves in Mathis. A left, a right and another left took us to the edge of Lake Corpus Christi where RIM RAIDER, TROJAN WHORE, EASY CUMS and BLOWS ANYTHING awaited our arrival with food and nectar.

The food and of course the nectar were great. With bellies full, the group made it’s way to the water, ignoring what their mothers taught them about waiting an hour after eating. The temperature of the water was comparable to bath water, so nobody noticed any nectar being relieved into the water. C.H.I.P.S did her best to walk on water as the hungry piranha seemed to favor her over the rest of the crowd. TEKILL-YA TITS began screaming and thrashing around in the water. Thoughts of the piranha soon diminished as GUAMARHEA BALLS surfaced with TEKILL-YA’s swimsuit bottoms in hand.

RIM RAIDER was soon dragging potential victims behind his boat as many attempted skiing for the first time. Lake water enemas were plentiful as water skiers each took their share of tumbles. TWAT DID YOU SAY, fearing the enemas, elected to wear his wetsuit. After a good tumble behind the boat he was thankful for the suit as it kept all his extremities attached. RANGER SMURF decided he could do one better and managed to skip across the water like a flat stone.

Between the ride, skiing, swimming and the sun, everyone began getting tired. Several people elected to lay in the shade. Soon snoring could be heard and puddles of drool dotted the shady area like landmines. With naptime over, an impromptu RELIGION ensued. This was short and sweet as the crowd was ready for the ride home.

As we departed the area, CHEMO, leading the pack, attracted the attention of one of Texas’ finest park rent-a-cops. According to her, he was doing in excess of 35 mph in a 20 zone, and when one hasher does it... they all do it! After a little pleading and an offer to give her a ride on his new bike, she agreed to let the group go with only a warning. Into Mathis for a fuel stop, then back on the road for Corpus the riders headed. We were homeward bound to call it a day.

Thanks to everyone that put an effort in to make this Knuckledragger more of an event than a ride. Thank you RIM RAIDER for initiating the idea and bringing the boat!

ON-ON