Yeowza Wankers and Knubrubbers,
It is I, the newly Nipponized RIM RAIDER (looking for butt not finding the HARELIPDOG) in the land of the never ending Hash. That's right, you can hash seven days a week, butt combined they will never be as good as a single Corpus Kennel!
As the traditions of the Corpus Christi Hash Houses call for, it is now my turn to pontificate much flatulence upon you.
Me Me Me Me oh yeah, this aint a song. Thanks to all of you who came to the Massive Fuck Off and to those folks that helped put it all together!
After almost a year of pestering, cajoling, strong arm tactics, and bribery, LILLY VON STOOP (with a little assistance from PURPLE PEE WEE PACKAGE) got me out to a BALH3 run. Needless to say, I was never the same! Since I am living proof (about 151proof) that LVS and COCKSHOT had sex on trail, I must thank my hash parents for bringing me out and cumming up with my name. You both raised me right in the traditions (there are no rules), ensuring I had plenty of beer in my bottle, songs on my lips, trail marks to follow, and a dirty diaper (I think COCKSHOT just liked wiping my ass).
LILLY VON STOOP, whether adding miles to a YBF (and true trail marks), running 10 miles to the On Start and then out drinking us all with truck loads of German beer, you always made every hash and made it fun. We will never forget that trail can only lead off in 359 degrees from an intersection thanks to you! You have been a true friend will always personify what it means to be a hasher. See you and FLAME MC2 next year for the three way sponsored HLD, 3$B, and R2 Top of Mount Fuji Hash!
There are some that don't do anything except show up and hash, and then there are those that do it all. HARE LIP DOGG (being in the latter bunch), you became a close friend that had the balls to slap me back out of line (yeah I liked it) when I took shit to seriously. Through all the drop drawers, personal tragedies, and other crazy shit that we found ourselves in, you are true blue brother from another mother. One of the Four for Four on the Fourth and quad-flounder of the ROPE TUGGERS H3, we are hashing together again!
BLOWS ANYTHING, another of LVSs re-constipation cases, you epitomize the fun and joy of hashing! England and World Interhash 2004 won't know what hit them! Another brother in the hash world and real life. Don't ever forget the "It Starts with this"... song! As a Four for Four on the Fourth and quad-flounder of the ROPE TUGGERS H3 (don't bust the boat!) don't ever forget about hashing again ya wanker, as you and ANYTHING along with the hash kat (found on trail no shit ASS-TRICK enjoy jolly old England!
BLUE BALLS, there can be only one GRAND MASTER and you personify it! Thanks can not be said enough for all the support, from beer to our hash room. None of us never tells you that enough (you wankers listening). You have been the glue that holds us all together! A true thank you and FUCK YOU from the bottom of my rectum! I'm still waiting on the DNA test to see if you are really my great great great great great great grand-daddy!
COCKSHOT, through thick and thin you stuck by me and made it fun. I will miss your songs, drunken dancing, and tight white ass. They make shots for the infucktion that you are going to give Spain and rest of Europe when you show them what hashing's all about.
CHEMO, GUAMARHEA BALLS, THREE DOLLAR BILL, thanks for all you did for TXIH 2002 and the BAY AREA LARRIKINS, along with all the advice (ignored) and tolerance (appreciated). You were there through thick and thin. Them Them Fuck Them.
NICE-PAIR-O-KEETS, for always searching me out to be my bitch for the bike night rides. That seat will always be yours along with a place in my heart and in my pants!
RANGER SMURF, TWAT DID YOU SAY, GOT GAS JACKASS, and BI-VALVE. Thanks for stepping up and taking on all the mismanagement spots (think of it as a "G" spot) as all the rest of us wankers take off.
DNR, PECKER CHECKER, SCUBA STEVE, GAYLORD FOCKER, DILDO DIVA. No others could have established the Legends of the Corpus Kennels better than you! Thank you for letting me be a small part of it.
ROTTEN CHERRY, SPANKIN GRANNY, KUN FU KEVORKIAN, LABIA OF THE RINGS, WANT IN ONE HAND SHIT IN THE OTHER, CHANNEL THREE BOOBS, ANYTHING FOR A BUCK, PRISS POT, STREAKIN FREAK, HO DOWN, S.L.A.P. CAN YOU HEAR IT NOW, and all the rest of you wankers, help out where you can. Corpus is known world wide! It's your challenge to keep up the traditions and On-Her that is established. Help out where ever you can (this shit just don't happen), hoist your beers, and remember this is our family! You all ought to be publicly pissed on!
And finally EASY CUMS. You and I proved that incest IS best. You are my best friend in Corpus and I will miss you the most. Yeah you know, I don't need to say anything else. See you in the land of sushi soon!
Cum join HLD, 3$B, and me next summer for a shitty trail up the side of Mount Fuji (and hashing every other day!) You better be there!
And for all you fucks! Don't ever forget my BAL fuck off trail and religion! My your trails be that shitty, your religions be that fun, and the beer always flow that free (along with the tits out for the boys)!
On On
RIM RAIDER