May 15, 2003

Hola Wankers (or is it adios?)!
Truly, this must be the end of the world¦cats and dogs really are living together. Yes, I have given up on the City of Christ and moved my ass(along with Daddy's Cum) into a small yet charming tenement with my wife Te-Killya Tits and her 2 no-name cats in San Antonio. The stories sad to tell, but
I'll tell it anyway. I started Hashing with the Agana H3 in Guam (Cocksucker, motherf*cker, eat a bag of shit!) way back in 1993. When I left, no one bothered to tell me that Hashing was not just a local concoction dreamed up by the local Chamorro population.
  Flash to Farah's bar on Padre Island in January 2001. My good friend Shanda cums stumbling into the bar, thoroughly
polluted, and dressed in a tattered toga shouting "Yoooo'll neber guesh wha I juss did!  I went Hashing!" Stunned, I reply "Hashing? I've done that before! Tell me more!" So on January 20, 2001 I returned to the Hashing world courtesy of Shanda and the C2H3. FIST FUCKER and NICE PAIR-A-KEETS
were the hares for a great trail around the Island, ending with a crazy On-In and bonfire on the beach. Oh yeah, and it turns out my good friend "Shanda" was actually some brazen harriette/whore named COCKSHOT.
 Just a few weeks later, I met a bunch of San Antonio Hashers at a pajama-themed Hash hared by COCKSHOT, BABY BOINKER, and STD. One of these SA Hashers was the beautiful harriette TE-KILLYA TITS, who would later become my wife. Over the past 2
years or so, I have gone from a no-name drunk to a Hash Monk, the BALH3 RA, a TXIH 2002 organizer, and finally back to a drunk. Along the way, I have made a lot of great friends, and shared some of the best times I can only partially remember! In true Corpus Christi style, I want to get the last word in and leave you with this Fuck Off message. If I forget anyone, it's only because I'm an inconsiderate bastard so FUUFF!

CHEMO: Brother, you gave me this horrible name and a lot more. Thanks for giving me a ride every time the Kawasaki broke down, and thanks for being a fat bastard like me so I would have someone to walk and talk with on Trail. Here's to smoking cigars at the Hash! You have been a true Brother to me,
and I can't wait until we meet on Trail again.

BLUE BALLS: My MUCH older Brother. Thanks for keeping my head on straight during the many nights I fumbled through Religion. Your generosity to the Hash is unparalleled, and you and JENNIFER's friendship has meant a great deal to me. And before I forget...do ya wanna see my nuts?

GAYLORD FOCKER: My Mexican Brother. Ahh, the many nights we spent together in the hottub, sipping Pina Coladas, with your nappy goatee resting gently on my thigh...Seriously though, never forget our first TXIH dragging TROJAN WHORE through the wilderness, your expertly planned (if not flawlessly executed)
trip to Monterrey, and the truckload of beer we drank in your garage while solving the world's problems and working on the Harley. Come and visit us soon...our yard needs mowing!

COCKSHOT: Hello my Friend! Thanks for bringing me back to the Hash. You have done a lot for all of us, and I will miss your song-and-dance routines! Stay in touch, and be sure to show those Spanish fucks what Hashing is all about!

DILDO DIVA: All I can say is: stop coveting my wife's breasts!

ROTTEN CHERRY: Sorry about your front forks and tire. Thanks for the "private flashes" you shared.  I think CHEMO and I are the only ne's who ever catch them. You have been a great friend, even if you never get drunk enough to sleep with me! Glad I finally figured out how to ride again so I didn't have
to be your bitch anymore.

HARE LIP DOG: You left before I did, but what the hell? You groomed me as your Hash Monk, and you kept all the "behind the scenes" stuff going. Not bad for a redheaded Navy LT.

EASY CUMS & EASY GOES: I knew you guys intimately (hehehe) before I Hashed in Corpus, and I hope you'll stay in touch now that I'm gone. I'm glad you both FINALLY came out, and hope you'll keep the C2H3 and BALH3 as crazy as ever.

FIST FUCKER: Seems like we always end up riding together in a truck instead of on motorcycles. Take care of yourself, and cum visit TE-KILLYA and I when you get back to Texas.

LABIA OF THE RINGS & COP BLOCKER: A sullen cop and an exhibitionist gym attendantant...what a pair! You guys rock, and I'm really glad you are together.
Both of you have provided many hours of entertainment to me during Religion. I'll catch you on the turn-round, 10-4?

BI-VALVE, EAR FUCKED, $3 BILL, GOT GAS, BUTT MUNCH, RIM RAIDER, TDYS, RANGER SMURF, SBD, SPANKIN' GRANNY, DUDE WHERE'S MY DICK, CHEWIE, DAMN NEAR REDNECK and all the rest of you wankers: I could keep writing, but nobody is probably going to read down this far so why bother? So I'll just say this:
all of you (named and no-name Hashers alike) have made the last few years great. Many of you are like family to me, and all of you have proven that the Hash really is a great big family. I will miss you all, and hope that we will Hash together again soon. Keep the Corpus Christi Hash Houses (all 4 of them) going strong so TE-KILLYA and I can cum and visit the rowdiest Hash in Texas! And if you find yourselves cumming to San Antonio, call the SAH3 Hotline and I'm sure someone else will be able to find crash space for you!

On-Out!
Guamarhea Balls & Daddy's Cum (the Hash Dog)