FULL MOON TRASH

3-28-02

Being the renegade hash we couldn't even wait until the hash for the trash to begin. Our RA EarFucked calls Twat'd U Say? and deputizes him via cell phone as acting RA for the evening. He's tied up with something to due with a baptism or toilet diving with a baboon, I was drunk and didn't get all the details. A randy crew of eight hashers including two visitors from the frozen north (Wisconsin), Easy Rider and her virgin boyfriend (damn man give it up already). I don't remember his name but I don't have to since it won't last the night.

    On to picking hares and the twisted game to decide this time is pick a number between 1 and 3. Apparently in Wisconsin they don't know the only number between one and three is 2 looks like we have our first volunteer. Narrowing the 2nd hare down to Guam or Chemo a game of Row-Sham-Bone finds Guam the winner or should I say loser, HARE! After what seems like an eternity of conference the hares are away across Sorry-Toga through a farmers field and disappearing into the shiggy. 

After chalk talk for our virgin and a suitably long hash song, RELEASE THE HOUNDS!!!!! Across the road and into the shiggy which is allot like what running on the lunar surface would be like but with allot more gravity. How somebody didn't manage to twist or break an ankle is anybody's guess. Trail goes through a barb wire fence and across a drainage ditch that to our shock is dry much like the hounds who are wondering when we'll see our beer bitch Cum Dumpster. On through more barb wire into another massive farm field to cross. Finally at the other side the hounds emerge on Airline to play some Frogger with on coming traffic. There must be beer around here somewhere right? WRONG! Trail winds through the busy streets and back behind Mickey D's where the trail vanishes. 

The pack circles in confusion in ever widening erratic circles. Chemo who has spotted the Nursing home parking lot across yet another field decides there must be beer there. Well once again WRONG! but apparently Chemo is either so amazed there was no nectar or delusional from thirst and nectar deficiency decides to keep running back and forth across the field. No matter how many times he checked however there was no beer. After scratching our asses and masturbating for a half hour or so out back of Mickey D's trail is finally found across the field, the parking lot, and the road. Roughly 200 yards and no beer between trail marks. Hmmm....do you think the hares will be drinking!!!! The trail now turns into a pavement pounder as we go down the street and right on Woolridge.

Chemo and Twat'd U Say? open up a considerable lead on the pack as they chase the mirage of a frosty cold beer. Why did those hares need a beer bitch anyway. To auto hare perhaps? A mile later Twat and Chemo now staggering in the road screaming for nectar spot Cum Dumpster approaching and form a human road block demanding beer. After some whining about not being able to find a place to park for a beer stop and hiding from the cops with expired tags, a suspended license, and no insurance We air traffic control her into the nearest turn off at a farm gate. With beer AT LAST the pack regroups and it's back to the on start for REELIGION!

Things get fuzzy from here but contributing sacred vessels for the evening was Easy Rider our visiting Wisconsin hasher.

Shitty Trail- Hares Guam & Easy Rider
FRB - Prison Pussy (Hey he's gotta be fast at something)
Taking Dildo's place at private parties- Chemo
Almost choking
    on DOWN Down- Just ------ who has a foot phobia and is drinking from Easy Riders shoe (aka Sacred Vessel) Hmm...
Away wanker time for a naming. So let it be written...So let it be said... Lil' Piggy Paranoid!!!!!!!!!!

A lot of shit I don't remember and then it's off to Chemo's for the on after and naked Hot Tubbing.