where to begin...where to begin....oh, yeah, 3 years ago, the full moon h3 was started as an alternative (read: experimental) hash in the corpus christi area, that went against any rules set forth by any other hash in corpus. the result, a kick ass time with a small group of people as dirty as the next.

so there we were, gathering at the on-start, down at the waterfront, in front of the Selena Auditorium, at exactly hash time......with 15 die hard wankers...3 of which were virgins. temp. was a brisk 49degrees farenheit....although I felt like a 69... there was much shrinkage by the men, and nipples that could cut glass by the women. after gathering all the beer, and almost forgetting to collect hash cash....uhh, who could that have been? ...we picked the hares, in the ceremonius way that the full moon does..."randomly"...and drew straws...lo and behold but who should the hare be but..................LABIA OF THE RINGS....geez, who knew...it's not like it was planned or anything....anyway, after much griping, and clinging to anyone she could, and screaming that she wouldn't do it, we kicked her out of the circle with 5minutes to go and lay trail.

I might add at this point, that one of our illustrious backsliders...BUTTER BLING was in attendance and since BUTTER doesn't...how shall I put it....he...well, it's kind of like.....uhhh, he doesn't run...at all.... no where...not even 10ft... he became the official beer bitch for the evening...seeing as how he doesn't live in corpus christi, this could be very bad...

labia takes off, and instead of doing boring father abraham, we bust out in a rendition of "hi, my name is joe"...a la pirate style.....after everyone stopped laughing at me, i gathered up what was left of my ego....and announced we were on trail...

now, it is my understanding that labia doesn't run much, which was cool....but after 6 blocks of walking, we were beginning to regret having "randomly" picked her, as this was getting long even for full moon style......my bitching didn't go unheard, as we came around a structure, there was labia with the beer bitch, hands on her hips....pissed at the comment...."shit, if I knew labia could run this far, I would never have picked her"....uh, oops...that's my bad.

twat'd u say is picked as next hare for coming in first, so he's off with 3 minutes (because he can run) and a small bag of flour..and instructions to stop when out of flour...little did we know there was a piece of chalk in his bag...the little angry bastard, ran us for what seemed like 2 miles, around concrete street amphitheater area, and back to the parking lot in front of the old court house...probably not more than 1/2 mile...but it sure felt like more.

Next hare....well, that would be me.....and after taking off, dropping some hash cash out of one of my jacket pockets and almost getting run over by psycho taxi driver, flipping him off...running by velvets and continuing to run by, against better judgement, passing Hank's karaoke night (read: all low income/homeless locals) go here on friday night for karaoke...fucking hilarious, if you haven't been, then go........and then coming up on, yeah, you guessed it...cheers (or the old Angies) where hashers are always welcome.

a round of beers later, and after watching the virgin dudes get hit on by some weirdo wanna be George Thurogood (sp?) dude, AFAB is picked as the last hare, and what does the beeatch do, she runs over old trail...and then writes on the sidewalk "run back to the start of the hash" and hops in the truck with the beer bitch. oh, she'll pay for that one. although, i recal having done that one time myself with chemo and $3bill....

gaylord focker, sister focker, dude;where's my dick, butter bling, copblocker, labia of the rings, twat'd u say, richard simmons, kilowat crotch, pornarotti, 3 virgins, A.F.A.B., and Just Brentwood??!?...well, who cares what his real name was...because he would soon receive a new one.

DWMD pipes up that he knows, while LABIA whines that she raised her hand first Mr. Kotter, and there's sister focker in the background also raising her hand as if she knows....and of course I give DWMD preference as he cheerfully and proudly announces that it was.................................EARFUCKED who was named at full moon...with a look of utter disgust from the RA, he is forced on his knees...mind you at this point sister puts her hand down and bows her head in shame...and is also placed in the circle (of shame might i add)...as she was about to name earfucked also...geez, what kind of impression did this pervert have on my family..damn. So finally LABIA is allowed to let her cock garage flow freely and pulls out a piece of paper and says that she knows that it was.................TWAT'D U SAY, ( by the way, to the individual that emailed labia and told her who the first one named was, I'll get you my pretty...and yes, I know who you are...HA!) who was named at the 1st full moon. with that being the right answer, the prize is revealed....none other than the ORIGINAL SACRED MANTLE (raped and defiled in europe) and her prize is to have her name embroidered on it for the whole world to see.

Naming: Just Brentwood????!? For loving dogs all day at work, and fucking with them, or just plain fucking them (apparently he took over some of chemo's doodies at the base)...and seeing as the full moon hash will name someone if they freakin' feel like it...and if he is cool, and if he shows interest and can chug a beer while sitting on the bare ice at 49degrees F, while flour is poured on his head...then he deserves a name...so from now on, let it be written, let it be known.....RIN TIN TWINKIE JUICE!